hello
i want to bite my skin off. its thursday, april 30th in 2026 and i do not feel ready for may i do not feel ready to graduate i do not feel ready for anything really. nothing is working out the way i wish it would. i feel like i've lost at everything while people think im on top. how can one be happy with succes if it has cost me everything ?
hello
every time i write out the < br > < br > i say it out loud in my head. like brr brrrr
its tuesday, april 21st in 2026 and im sitting at my desk at school
tbh i should to go mees because we planned to hang out but i just want to work on my siiiiteeeeeee augh
i also have to send emails............... maybe tomorrow morning........
this morning i had a good meeting with norbert about using etslicht as my graduation project but he's not making it easy
which. is good but its hard. he suggested i maybe even make a second installation proving why i chose to do some things in the first.
could be something ya know, i can still work on something
but tbh.. i just want to work on my cyberdeck and my site el o el
also i felt so cool and secretive working on this page but ofc neocities publishes like every small change u do so if anyone finds this page hellooo welcome to my hopeless romantic ramblings.
whenever i try to make something secret on the net a part of me always secretly hopes someone finds it
reading paper towns when i was 14 truly shaped me
leaving little clues and bits and links to old blogs or spaces that mostly occupy me but would be nice if they had visitors
like if you try i have left many trails on the web but they're only for the real seekers
hello
its almost 1 am on sunday, april 19th in 2026.
corn is sleeping over and i should sleep too tbh. i did 29k steps today >:-}
we took the train to castricum and walked to the sea. tbh the walk was kind of a pain in the ass but we did it !!!!!!
we sat by the sea, drank wine and did some dobbeling
when we continued i walked like 3km barefoot which was soo nice
wish i had cool toe shoes
hello
its friday, april 17th in 2026. im hiding in the bathroom at the museum.
yesterday dirk and i went on brievenbussen jacht and while cycling back from brummen i talked a bit about how ely came to visit 235 but acted weird.
dirk said " i stole you from him " which.
is true in a way. i was already frustrated with the way ely and i acted around eachother.
but he did. steal my heart ahahahaahahahaahahahaaaahahahaaaaaaaaaaa
trying to be real casual about it but i just cant do it man............
hello
its tuesday, april 14th in 2026. im laying on my beanbag chair but mostly on the floor.
i just called with a really cute sleepy dirk and he surprise video called me from his bed
god he looked so cute in his green duvet. i think he sleeps in a single bed ?
we played guess the city and i ate some walnut bread with butter and salt.
i felt stupid but the spontanious call caught me off guard. and from his bed !!!!
his cute sleepy face !!!!!!! in his cozy bed aaauuaauughhhh hes so cute hessocute he is so so cute
just. going crazy. i want to take a nap with him so bad.
how do you casually ask someone you Really Like if you can take a nap together ?
like ahaha yeah we should totally platonically sleep next to each other at the same time
and your shoulder is just soosooo comfy better than any pillow
augh. i feel like a loser